bruce banner was a nerd, too
When I was younger I had a terrible temper. It didn't really get me into fights or trouble — mostly it just produced figurative headaches for my parents and literal ones for myself. I think it's the Dutch blood in me: that sort of passionate disposition is what allowed their East India company to deliver such competitive pricing excellence to its customers, right? Right.
Well, puberty eventually wrapped up, I put a little more effort into controlling myself, and I generally started having fewer things to get upset about. These days I like to think I'm pretty good-natured guy. My ceaseless fury is mostly reserved for when I'm speaking to customer service representatives on the phone. Admittedly, if those poor souls were to get together and commiserate, I've got a feeling that the term "serial killer-like" might come up a lot. That's about right, I'm afraid ("it puts me on the phone with its manager, or else it gets the hose again"). It's nothing personal, guys — it's just that your discomfort will under no circumstances interfere with the satisfaction of my incomprehensibly inhuman desires (e.g. wanting my DSL connection to work).
So I mostly limit myself to a telephonic stress/voodoo doll these days. The primary exception is when I'm particularly tired and/or stressed out. Which brings me to this entry's inevitable apology: I'm sorry, tonight's left lane dwellers of I-66 and Rt. 29. Repeatedly tonight, as you and your right-lane coconspirators trundled along, collecting cars behind you like beads on some sort of furious charm bracelet, I was surprised to find myself projecting invisible beams of hatred in your direction with such intensity that I'm pretty sure I began to cook you from the inside out. So, uh, sorry about that.
Comments
I didn't know the Dutch were reputed to be foul-tempered. I thought they were too busy mocking tourists who get high on hash brownies in Amsterdam.
I just heard Nicolas Cage is coming out with another movie on September 1, while World Trade Center will presumably (though not guaranteed to be) still in the theater.
I'm just saying, now you have some place to direct your rage.
Fernando: I'll admit, I'm basing my judgment of the Dutch on my unusually cantankerous Dutch grandfather ("cantankerous" being an extremely kind reading of the situation -- had his family still been in its aristocratic heyday, I suspect he'd have been the sort of black sheep who would occasionally be the subject of gossip whenever, say, a servant ended up beaten to death with an ornamental cane).
The Dutch East India Company was evidence of Dutch guile, rather than foul-temperedness. Hence, I've always considered the Dutch to be savvy businessmen. However, I'm sure if I was from Indonesia I'd have a different opinion.
I visited The Netherlands a few years back. The people there, generally, are nice and laid-back. Amsterdam's homeless population is a little scary and aggressive though.
If you really want to annoy a Dutch person, loudly sing the praises of their neighbor, Germany. Or tell them their soccer team's orange jerseys are hideous. That will get them going...
All the best,
Fernando
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