Apologies, Heineken Light. It turns out that you didn't try to poison me. I just got sick. I suppose it might just be that you did an unusually thorough job of poisoning me. But that seems unlikely. No, I now have no doubt that use of your fine product will lead to a robust physique and, based upon recent light beer commercials I've seen, improved performance at rollerblading, windsurfing, and other sports that were briefly cool in the eighties.

It seems that everyone is getting sick. I guess winter hadn't planned on spring elbowing in on its action quite so soon. The season has flown by, and it barely has any more time to make our lives miserable. "Flowers? Pollen? WTF! Better infect some suckers while I still can."

I would've used a sick day if not for a particularly exciting cell phone cable that, via the magic of Ebay, should be arriving at the office any day now. But now I'm starting to wonder whether any cable — regardless of the embedded microcontroller! — could be better than sitting at home in my pajamas watching TV all day. I know, it doesn't sound like me at all. I think I may be delirious with fever.