i promise, i never make a big deal out of valentine's day, but how can i not enjoy getting something like this?:

what i DO make a big deal out of is tommy's 26th birthday, which is, of right now, tomorrow (ie wednesday the 15th). so make sure to wish him a happy one! he now joins my ancient ranks! mwahaha. you never stood a chance, young'un.

what ramifications could this rumor have for us lowly regular people?

hopefully, the end of calling us fricking TomCat.

I can't help it, though. They're full of good stuff today:

• Banana Blog
• Cargo Cults: Islanders Worship Departed American Soldiers
• Willie Nelson gets on the Brokeback Bandwagon

I've got an idea for what I think would be a fairly neat DC-centric SMS application. I don't want to tip my hand just yet, but once the serial cable that I just ordered for my old t39 wings its way to me, I'll provide some more info. For now, though, some things I've figured out about sending text messages from your Linux computer:

• Asterisk is neat (and likely to make knowledgeable techs a lot of money in the near future), but not really necessary for SMS. Most of the docs for it deal with using FastSMS, a custom SMS gateway that requires no hardware but costs about five cents/message. That's overkill for little guys like myself, though. I think it might make more sense to just run one of the programs mentioned below externally to Asterisk if you need less-than-heavy duty SMS capabilities. In my case, that means I won't be running Asterisk at all.


• A cheaper alternative is to buy an old GSM phone off of Ebay and hook it up to your computer's serial port with an appropriate cable. It should then be able to act like a modem. Figure out what software you're going to use before deciding on a model. Avoid connecting to the phone with Bluetooth or USB — they just confuse the situation. Also, think about T-Mobile's Sidekick Data Only plan, which only runs $30/month and offers unlimited text messages.


• I've got some links to relevant software here. Of these, Gnokii currently appears to be the most impressive (but is poorly documented). Also, don't miss this list, which links to a lot of SMS software for Linux.


• Teleflip can't help you receive SMSes, so it's not quite what I want. But it does look neat. yourphonenumber@teleflip.com will automatically figure out your wireless carrier and send an email to their email-to-SMS gateway. For example, phonenumber@tmomail.net lets you SMS T-Mobile customers. The format/address is different for every carrier, though — Teleflip just figures this out for you and forwards your email along. It's free, but only works for North American numbers.


• I'd be remiss if I didn't mention MoLoGoGo, which has nothing to do with SMS, but lets you track your GPS position by remote using a free app loaded onto a $80 Boost Mobile phone. And it now exports your location information to XML! I'm pretty desperate to figure out a way to do something useful with this. So far, no dice.

I was pretty wary when Mike pointed me to ob/eybuttersti/ck.com (googleproofing to avoid encouraging them). WHOIS revealed that John Hl/inko owned the domain. He's a PR guy, and had bought ads for it on Atrios and DailyKos. That's a serious amount of money for something this stupid. He responded to emails asking what he was up to with too-cute dodges. I was afraid something nastily commercial was coming.

Well, as of today the seemingly-random countdown timer has reached zero, and the site has officially launched. It looks like the threat is overblown. T-shirts rehashing various well-tread "underground" memes are being sold, and there's a "posse" functionality that appears to run a technorati or similar search on butterstick and rank the sites that come back. The site's also using CafePress, and claims to be donating "a portion of the proceeds" to panda-related charities. All in all, not the commercial juggernaut I'd feared.

I apologize for my misgivings, John. Welcome to the exciting and dynamic world of unprofitable panda websites.

since my special gentleman friend isn't around this evening to celebrate that most retarded of holidays, i thought i might go off on a Great Adventure and do something i've never done before. no, not whatever you're thinking of, sicko. i want to get a manicure!

the truth is that i have been biting my nails since i emerged from the womb. i don't do it explicitly because i'm nervous and anxious all the time (though it is a fact that i bite my nails the most when i am a) anxious b) writing an english paper on victorian literature...man, it was a brutal scene after that dickens paper on rosa dartle). i am fully aware it's a gross habit, and frankly, i thought i would magically grow out of it as soon as i became An Adult. like, adults just don't bite their nails. because they are super human. but i'm 26 now, and really, it wasn't like that.

anyway, for the past few weeks i have appeared to break the habit and thanks to my super special friend mr. nasty tasting nail polish designed to help me stop chewing, i now have nails of a normal human length. i know it's only temporary - it always is - but i'm determined to keep it up as long as possible. and i thought maybe getting a manicure, actually spending a chunk of money to stop myself from biting off parts of my own body, might prolong the experience.

but i've never done it before! and i don't know what to expect! and frankly, i'm kind of scared. how much should a normal manicure cost? what color should i get? do i tip? will i be infected by nail tool gross fungus stuff? how long will it last? will i become addicted if i go just once?

girlier UN readers: help me out here. walk me through the manicure experience. you'll be helping me become a better person, i promise.

i'm doing an article on the lawyers for the creative arts, an organization where lawyers donate their time and services to artists and creative entities in chicago to help them with contracts, intellectual property, tax exemptions, etc. i have an interview today with the head of the organization, but i'm also looking for people who might have used their services and i'm having a bit of a hard time. i'm sure the head of the org. will point me towards the right folks, but i was hoping someone out there might know somebody, too! so if you do, shoot me an email.

more vday goodness: OCD valentines from mcsweeny's. ie:

BE MINE. Wait. That has six letters. Six letters is so unlucky. It's like YOU DIE. That's exactly what it's like. Now you're going to die and it's all my fault.

i love this washington post article on private investigators and valentine's day, if only for this totally awesome photo of two PIs trying to look about as badass as two PIs who chase down unfaithful husbands can. they can, and they WILL, stalk you to your cheap motel and take photographs of you from far away while eating cheetos. watch out, mofos.

anyway. happy valentine's day, all!

(hat tip the boy)