whatchou talkin bout willis?

figure skating rules. if anything, it is at least a step-up from watching tonya harding beat the crap out of paula jones on celebrity boxing.

It's like we're speaking two different languages. I just don't know where to begin.

But I guess I would start by saying that figure skating, while boring to me, seems like perfectly innocuous pageantry. But the trend of watching celebrities -- particularly celebrities who are famous for no particular reason other than the fact that, hey, they're famous -- seems troubling to me. I don't want to have to discuss last night's episode of Celebrity Bill Paying with my coworkers.

I respect your disillusionment with our celebrity-obsessed culture. However, I have accepted the fact that this trend has been going on for five or six years and looks like it is here to stay. In light of this, my point was that perhaps the innocuous pageantry of dancing and skating is a bit of an improvement over the gross-out celebrity boxings, celebrity fear factors, surreal life...etc.

no, it's not an improvement. it's crap just like the rest.

I think it's an improvement because it's marginally more likely to thin the celebrity herds than those other shows (although Celebrity Fear Factor has potential if they'd get their act together). The ad I saw on TV looked rough -- there was a lot of falling on ice, and some blood. Good stuff!

Of course, it's not enough. But it does open the door for new and better entertainments, like the example I provided. Imagine: half a mile below the ground, a rope-entangled John O'Hurlihy struggles to escape a flooded cavern... but his air line is caught on a rock! Quick! Cut to commercial!

Now THAT would be appointment television. Hell, I'd even stick around for the spinoff: Celebrity Body Retrieval.