The Chicago Sun-Times (www.suntimes.com) weather report is "Shiver Me Timbers."

I just got an email from a friend in Chicago:

'Frosty, the snowman, was a very happy soul!
Because he lived in Illinois
Where the cold surely annoys
And where polar bears won't even patrol.'

It's freezing. Why did all these polish settlers come here? Was it buy one get one state day at Ellis Island? Come for the Indiana, stay for the Illinois?

Hey, at least it's not raining.

Actually, what are you complaining about? It's above zero, innit?

i'm scared.