lawyers: always trying to brighten your day
You know what I love? Getting email from lawyers. And people who work in law offices. Okay, when Charles was working for a PD's office they weren't all that amusing — just his regular "yes", or "ok i will take care of it" or, most often, icy silence.
But folks who work for bigger firms put a little something extra beneath their happy hour RSVPs. Usually it's something like this:
RECEIPT OF THIS COMMUNICATION IS INTENDED FOR ITS INTENDED RECIPIENT. PURSUANT TO SOME FEDERAL ACT OF LET'S SAY 1975, IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED THIS MESSAGE IN ERROR YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF A NUMBER OF IMPORTANT STATUTES. BETTER LAWYER UP, SON. ALSO, PRINT OUT AS MANY COPIES AS POSSIBLE AND DESTROY THEM. EXCEPT, OOO, COME TO THINK OF IT YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE PRINTED THOSE. ACTUALLY THAT PROBABLY JUST MADE THINGS A LOT WORSE. BEFORE IT WAS JUST GONNA BE A FINE, BUT NOW THEY'RE GONNA TAKE YOUR HOUSE. YOUR FUCKING HOUSE, DUDE. SUCKS.
The idea that I could have somehow entered into a binding contract by virtue of receiving an email is so ludicrous — so transparently composed of gilded bullshit — that I know the sender can't possibly mean it, and that it's just there to give me a chuckle.
Also, the idea that someone has drafted a hundred-word footer to ensure their email's confidentiality rather than, you know, taking any technical steps at all to ensure that message's confidentiality... Well, it just makes me smile. Thanks, guys!
Comments
They generally just say, "If you're not the intended recipient, delete all copies of this e-mail and promptly set fire to your computer." No contract, but minimal CYA value.
The sad truth is that a committee probably drafted those footers.
okay, no actual contract. for one thing, I don't get any benefit, and for another, I didn't assent to it. but often they imply that I'm supposed/obligated to *do* something about the message (delete the message, alert somebody, etc). And in the process of conveying this sentiment they try to sound as contractual to the layman (like myself) as possible. Which is what I think is funny.
I think there are parallels to the clickwrap licenses that retail software vendors use. We really need some sort of digital personal signature standard to clear all this junk up.
Post A Comment