back from vermont, safe and sound! i'm trying to upload some pictures for your viewing pleasure, but goddamn photoshop keeps crashing my computer. i'll get them up later today.

vermont was nice, to be sure. the wedding was gorgeous - a plain white church on a wooded hill overlooking an incredibly lush valley, a tent and tables set up for the reception in a bright green field. the ceremony was lovely (although the somewhat elderly lady playing the piano/harpsichord played half the notes in a stuttered minor key, unintentionally, so that i was halfway in a fit of giggles as the bride and groom walked down the aisle to this lady's own personal rendition of "here comes the bride, totally out of tune."), the reception food was good, and i got a nice buzz going off all the magic hat. unfortunately it rained, loads, all sunday, so we didn't get out to enjoy the countryside. we caught "me and you and everyone we know" and read books in the 300 year-old house that tommy's relatives live in now (they also make lots of yummy organic food there; their quesadillas are to die for). other highlights included a mad run on the burlington bars on saturday night, an excellent sushi dinner, and the requisite stop at ben & jerry's.

there is one negative to vermont that i encountered, and it is this: approximately 75% of their cabbies are batshit insane. the hotel we were staying at was kind of out of the way, so tommy, his sister beth, her boyfriend adam and i had to take quite a few of them. the very first cabbie tommy and i encountered was an incredibly nice bostonian lady who picked us up at the airport and was meant to take us to the indian house, where we were meeting everybody for the rehearsal dinner. unfortunately, despite her being the friendliest lady in the world, she did not have an effing clue where she was going, the fact notwithstanding that downtown burlington is approximately 3 blocks large. highlights of the ride included stopping to ask for directions THREE TIMES (one of which she made me do because i was closer to the poor, unaware pedestrian) and arriving to the dinner an hour late. thanks, cab lady.

the second crazy cabbie was a more serious and tragic case, and i hate to make light of it, because it was so sad, but at the same time, this dude was totally bonkers. tommy, beth, adam and i piled into a cab at the hotel with the intention of meeting a bunch of people at a downtown wine bar and getting saturday night, post-wedding, started. as soon as we all got in the car, the cabbie asked how we were all doing. oh, fine, fine, we said, how are you?

him: well, i just found out i might have cancer. and i'm telling it to the world.

us: shocked silence, manage to emit a few feeble murmurs of consolation.

him: yup, my dad died of it, my mom died of it three months ago, and it looks like it's my turn now, doesn't it?

tommy, who got stuck up front: nodding, mutters something about "you gotta be positive," all the while darting his head around, wild-eyed, so that he looks for all the world like he's trying to figure out if leaping out of a 50 mile an hour cab would be a good idea.

him: well, i guess i'm goin' on to something better, ya know? *gets vaguely cut off by somebody on highway and suddenly transforms into cabbie of doom* "HEY, FUCK YOU, BUDDY. goddammit, i swear to god, nobody can FUCKING DRIVE. just the other day, this - and no offense to you ladies *gesturing to me and beth in the back seat* - but this DUMB BITCH cuts me off, and this bitch does NOT KNOW what she's doing. NOBODY can drive, these fuckers. MY GOD.

us: nodding vigorously, yeah, you were totally cut off. dumb bitches sure can't drive. also, please don't kill us. we just want to drink us some fine vermont beer tonight.

him (under breath, driving a little erratically): well, i'd rather die in a goddamn car crash than of cancer, that's for sure.

us: uhhhhh. immediately we all simultaneously open our car doors and do tuck somersaults out of the cab so as to avoid dying in the obvious murder suicide car crash which is coming our way.

just kidding. we make it alright to the bar, hurriedly wish the cabbie our best, and take off and drink copious amounts of alcohol to erase the entire terrifying event from our minds. sorry, cabbie dude. i hope you got good news instead of what you were expecting.