the baby panda is also very hot right now

posted by tom / August 11, 2005 /

In recent days it has come to our attention that many are experiencing increasing difficulty when trying to distinguish between the newborn baby panda and Owen Wilson. In order to resolve any potential confusion, we present this handy chart. It should serve both to help you identify the subtle distinctions between the two, and to spot possible "trouble areas" that may cause confusion. Feel free to print it out and keep a copy in your wallet for quick reference.

Baby Panda Owen Wilson
Dairy-Related Appellation Butterstick Butterscotch
Girls' Opinion Of Highly Favorable Highly Favorable
Nose Stupid Looking Stupid Looking
Anal Regimen Mother engages in prolonged licking sessions to stimulate waste elimination Engages in prolonged licking sessions (motivation unknown)


No more will I insinuate that Owen Wilson's mother barks and poops when she's excited, nor will I accuse the baby panda of playing the same character in every movie. Thanks for breaking the issues down and saving me from a world of future embarassment.

Posted by: Audrey on August 11, 2005 03:11 PM

So Owen is rehearsing for a remake of 'Muppets Take Manhattan'?

(For those who didn't watch it rerun on Encore all last month: "Tossed salad! TOSSSED SALAAAD!")

Posted by: Michael on August 11, 2005 04:52 PM

That's Butterscotch Stallion, pal. Anyway, Butterstick is totally wired and Wilson is tired.

Posted by: Jake on August 12, 2005 08:54 AM

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