that does not resemble a stick of butter
It's been pandamonium around here as the city celebrates the zoo's newest addition with the zeal of a pandacostal revival! Yes, the excitement is panda-emic here in the nation's capital! Sorry: pandapital.
But I have a terrible secret to share, people. The media wants you to think that the newborn's situation is too delicate to allow photographs. They throw out all this "the size of a stick of butter" nonsense because a stick of butter is small; delicate at room temperature; and something girls "just want to eat up". Clearly, the rhetoric is designed to evoke human babies.
But panda cubs are not the cute, scruffy pups you've been imagining. BEHOLD!
Horrifying, no? I'll meet you at the Woodley Park metro at 5:30. Bring pitchforks and torches.
(Photo stolen from the Post, which got it from Reuters, which got it from the China News Wire. And they steal enough of our intellectual property that I'm not feeling very guilty. Also: comment! parody! etc etc.)