a few words about war of the worlds
The three-day weekend knocked everything out of whack. Suddenly Sunday was the agreed-upon night for debauchery, and my whole schedule was thrown off. We yawned Friday night away, and before we knew it Saturday was almost gone. We had to get out of the house. So Catherine and I went to see War of the Worlds.
Here's where I would normally warn you about spoilers. But the thing is, this story's essential spoiler has been well-known for the past sixty years. If you don't already know it, it's your own goddamn fault.
The plot goes something like this: aliens show up and wreck shit. But! These aliens apparently come from a place where evolution does not hold sway (not Kansas, though). You can tell this because, despite superficially displaying bilateral symmetry, the aliens have three legs. Presumably this is because their vehicles also have three legs. You know, the way humans designed cars to reflect the four wheels that nature gave us.
More importantly, you can tell that the aliens have no need for stickers on their textbooks, because humanity -- which puts up a plucky but purely symbolic resistance effort -- is ultimately saved by the invaders becoming infected by Earth bacteria. So either these aliens somehow arose on a planet without microbial life, or someone at alien HQ is totally fired for not getting around to testing for deadly germs during the millennia-long invasion planning. Maybe a little less emphasis on the heat rays next time, huh guys?
Well, it was visually impressive, and the dialogue was pretty well-written. But the audience already knows how the story ends, and that none of the protagonists will be able to do anything in the face of overwhelming special effects. So the movie experience boils down to wondering who's going to die, and when. And the answer is: nobody.
Well, okay. One guy does. But we didn't like him anyway. And for everyone else we just get faked out, until the end of the movie delivers a ridiculously improbable reunion between the main characters at Gram & Gramps' place. Which, despite being in the middle of an urban warzone, appears none the worse for wear. You get the feeling that maybe they had to break out some candles and play board games for an hour or two, but you know what, it wasn't that bad! And Grams could not get this drawing during Pictionary, and it was hilarious. Also, the sound of neighbors exploding into steam and ash is kind of like snow falling. It was cozy.
If you like Spielberg, go for it. The movie's beautifully shot, the acting is serviceable (although it consists mostly of running), and the effects are great. It's a spectacle. It's not really much of a story, though.
Comments
our group left feeling almost... disappointed (?)that a certain someone with the initial TR didn't turn out to be a child molester. we kept waiting for a basement-molestation scene, it just seemed so obvious.
maybe it was edited for time. lucky, lucky dakota.
I think to say that the audience knows how the story ends is putting way, way more faith into the literary awareness of the American public than I'm willing to, given the propensity for Old Navy flag shirts I witnessed yesterday.
Really? I thought this was common knowledge. I remember lots of variations on the theme in Saturday morning cartoons, Saturday Night Live sketches, Simpsons episodes, all kinds of stuff. I thought it was pretty well enmeshed in the culture. But it's true, now that the movie's out I'm surprised by how many people don't know the ending. I had assumed I just wasn't getting a representative sampling.
At the end, the aliens die from the flu because they have no health insurance, right?
Yeah, it's probably tough to find an acceptable in-network physician when you're off conquering a foreign planet.
Speaking of politics though, I was mystified by the opening of the movie. During the "jeez isn't Tom Cruise kind of a jerk, if only an opportunity for redemption would present itself" phase, he refuses to pick up an extra shift at work, laughing through that shit-eating grin at his supervisor while quoting union regulations. A moment later we learn that he couldn't take the shift anyway: he promised to take care of his kids.
So why portray him as a lazy worker? I couldn't help but wonder if it was a subtle jab at unions. Since Spielberg's a lefty, though, I don't know where it would be coming from. Probably I'm overly sensitive about this stuff.
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