I saw Land of the Dead on Tuesday with Kriston, Matt, Eric, Jeremy and Sam. Pretty good flick -- it's always nice to see the proletariat demand justice, even if they are mainly comprised of ambling corpses. Also, it reminded me a lot of my favorite hyper-violent anime movie, Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust. Zombies, aristocrats and awesomeness are among the many shared themes. Somebody should make somebody else write an essay about it.

But I have to ask -- if the apocalypse came and you were to find yourself struggling to survive in a wasted landscape teeming with ravenous undead, would you maybe ratchet down the personal affectations? I mean, eschewing an automatic weapon for a bolt-action rifle I can sort of understand. And the single-shot harpoon gun that has to be manually reloaded -- okay. Probably wouldn't be my choice, but whatever. But rolling around on a skateboard? Come on now. I know that self-expression is an important and wonderful thing, but we have to draw the line somewhere. Your rebellious anti-establishment aesthetic seems to be ignoring the fact that there's no longer any actual establishment to rebel against.

So look people, if you and I ever happen to find ourselves in the same ragtag bunch of survivors, fighting to stay alive amidst an ocean of the walking dead, I am going to have to insist on a few things. No monocles. No unnecessary walking sticks. Please refrain from using tobacco products that require two hands or a lot of attention to light. And -- I cannot stress this enough -- please respect the buddy system.