one other thing from the ball games that bothered me as i wandered drunkenly through the seats and walkways of RFK, searching in vain for ATMs and sausages: why the fuck do dippin' dots still exist? they're being sold all over the stadium. tons of fatty children are eating them instead of the nutty buddies or fudgsicles they should be devouring. it's A WORLD GONE MAD.

if you've never heard of dippin' dots, consider yourself lucky that you don't know about this ice cream abortion. it bills itself as "the ice cream of the future" (though if i recall correctly, i first became aware of its existence in the mid90s), and the "ice cream" is comprised of tiny little balls that are somehow "flash-freezed" in order to make "an enormous globule of sucktardedness." i seriously can't fathom the continued popularity of a cup of tiny, half-formed beads of ice cream that are the size of an ant's butt. i hadn't seen them since the games at RFK and i really thought the franchise had deservingly withered away. i mean, the whole thing really makes me mad. i can get dippin dots all over the freaking country, but no one has the business sense to start up a good GELATO FRANCHISE? COME ON, america. we're land of the free, home of the fat. at least give us some good ice cream to nosh on.