jeb *is* a republican, right?

posted by tom / June 17, 2005 /

Let's say you and your party have just been thoroughly embarassed by the results of a high profile autopsy. It's now apparent that that your medical theorizing was uninformed bullshit. The "questions that must be answered" -- aka slanders -- about broken bones, strangulation and missed MRI opportunities now have been, and the answers are substantially less scandalous than you expected. An issue that was always a loser has now turned into an embarassment. What do you do?

Why, reopen old wounds, of course! To that end, Jeb's calling for an investigation into whether Michael Schiavo called 911 quickly enough. Did Schiavo rush to the phone like a dutiful husband? Or did he just stand there, laughing and smoking marijuana cigarettes with his activist judge buddies? I don't know. But the question must be answered.

Comments

Here's how I think it happened: a gang of activist judges broke into the house, high on blunts they rolled using the Constitution, and found Terry coming out the bathroom. They pushed her down a flight of stairs, sending her into a vegetative state. The judges, obviously cowards, fled the scene. Erstwhile, the husband was in the basement making hot man-love to an abortion doctor, unbeknownst to Terry. By the time they were finished, 70 minutes had elapsed since Terry's fall. Then he called 911. Case closed.

Posted by: Underused on June 17, 2005 03:25 PM

I don't understand it.

Posted by: j.scott barnard on June 19, 2005 05:01 PM

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