Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are engaged. But then, you already knew that.

Nobody believes this is a real relationship, but the the exact contours of their sickness remain vague. Is Cruise gay? I don't know. I kind of doubt it. Doesn't that seem a little too conventional?

I suspect it's something much weirder than that. A horrifying sublimation of his sexuality beneath Scientological principles? Maybe. But right now I'm leaning more toward something like this.

UPDATE: I guess it could be something like this, too.