You leave a good rock show at a cool bar because you can't wait to get home and shave.

(See, I couldn't let Catherine claim all the lameness for herself.)

In my defense, for some reason my face started itching like a motherfucker and I just couldn't take it. Weird, I know.

^* With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy. Just kidding. Actually he can go fuck himself.

upon going to the doctor today (i decided last night it was not good for me to be hacking up enormous green and yellow colored...things), i was given - guess what? - that's right, ANOTHER INHALER! the doctor today said the last inhaler i was given was a little dangerous to be using four times a day (apparently it is a heart stimulant, something i noticed when i would puff into it and then clean the kitchen, bathroom, and go grocery shopping all in under 20 minutes. thanks old doctor, for trying to kill me, though i do appreciate the productivity that came out of it).

but my new inhaler is not just any regular inhaler. it is the FUTURE of inhalers. in fact, it is so damn futuristic that i can barely figure out how to use it. it involves some rotation, some clicks, there's some sort of counter on there...really, it's crazy.

behold, the future, where inhalers are PURPLE AND ROUND AND LOOK SORTA LIKE BIRTH CONTROL:

wanna fuck with me now that i've got this cool inhaler? huh? i'll beat your ass! ...or i would, if i weren't wheezing so much.

Barbara Walters said, on TV, that she was made "uncomfortable" when a woman seated next to her breastfed her child. Apparently expressing this opinion in a forum as well-respected as The View is TOTALLY unacceptable, and Walters is a bad mother who hates babies. See here for a sample of the insane overreaction.

Can people really not express discomfort about this without prompting "nurse-ins" like the one staged to protest Walters' comment? I'm not opposed to public breastfeeding, but yes, when I see it I do experience a certain "Hey! I didn't expect to see a nipple over there!" reaction. To quote Homer Simpson, "It's not... usual."

I'm easily irritated by rants against ill-defined political correctness, but it really does seem like pro-public-breastfeeding mothers are incredibly easily offended by any opposition to the practice. The only explanation I can come up with is that mothers view this (largely non-existent) debate as an attempt to interfere with their childrearing efforts, which makes something angry and biological kick in. Walters is the hapless camper standing between a grizzly and her cubs.

I realize that this theory is insultingly patronizing, but I really can't come up with a better explanation.