i can't decide which is the crazier tom cruise incident of the day - his insensitive, idiotic, slathered-in-scientology-goodness condemnation of brooke shields' use of drugs to help her postpartum depression, or his totally-fucking-insane performance on oprah (click through for pictures on defamer, where cruise acts like a goddamn monkey flinging his suspiciously hysterical love for katie holmes around like so many feces).

somebody, please, give him an oscar already, for anything, for a beer commercial, a belated award for the terrible last of the samauris, ANYTHING, so he can go into scientology hiding and leave us all in peace.