nobody beats the wiz

posted by tom / February 08, 2005 /

victory.pngLst night Charles, Brian, Matt and I went to see the Wizards beat the hated Indiana Pacers in an exciting to-the-wire victory that I'm sure was deeply symbolic for some reason. This little outing was thrown together at the last moment, but things went off without a hitch -- turns out it's easy to navigate the challenges of professional sporting event attendance when the team in question hasn't won a playoff game in sixteen years.

But this year! This year things are clearly possibly going to be different, maybe. So why the game was sparsely-attended is somewhat of a mystery to me: the Wiz (actual alternate nickname: 'Zards) are in fourth place in the East despite star player Larry Hughes being sidelined with a broken hand. Friends who understand such things assure me that (ignoring for the moment their inevitable annual meltdown) Washington will be seeded against the Heat in the playoffs, ensuring an almost-immediate loss -- so now is the time to go see Gilbert Arenas wreck house. A mere $10 ticket will buy you a seat featuring the unofficial halftime upgrade plan.

This was the first time I've been to an NBA game since the days of the Bullets, although I've made it to MCI for hockey games a bit more frequently. I was glad to see that the franchise seems to be appropriately ashamed of their insipid mascot -- aside from the logo on the court and a pointed hat on the nonspecifically fuzzy mascot, there weren't any allusions to wizardry at all. It's almost like taking the most effete bits from Dungeons & Dragons and marketing them to the fans of a sport defined by contemporary black culture is a bad idea. Weird!

Anyway, the healthy sense of shame was good to see, but rest assured I still found something to get upset about: MCI no longer sells Gordon Biersch garlic fries! Outrageous! Preposterous! And while my hot dog did resemble rehydrated jerky in an interesting and fairly pleasant way, there were no packets of onions available. C'mon Abe! Washington deserves better than this. We demand concession concessions. Can't you get the folks from Ben's to set up a beachhead?


I may have to make it to a Wizards game this year. I haven't been back since a Wizards/Bulls game a few years ago that was the most painful professional sports experience of my lifetime. I don't think I've seen two more incompetent teams on the court at the same time.

I'm glad that the Wizards are doing well this year, but my brain just has trouble dealing with that reality. The Bullets/Wizards are never allowed to be good, ever! It's just the way things always have been and always will be, right?

Posted by: Drew on February 8, 2005 02:15 PM

Believe it or not, the Wizards actually are good this year. So get out and see them, the crowd is almost as anemic as the good seats at U-Hall where all the alumni sat for UVA hoops games. The team could use some more cheering. In fact, the biggest pop of the night came when a guy hit a three pointer during the 3rd quarter break to win everyone in the place a free pizza (redeemable today only). 2nd biggest cheer was when they put that energy meter up that "measures" how loud the crowd is cheering.

Oh, and a slight correction for you Tom. If things stay as they are, the Wiz will nab the 4th seed and face off against the Heat in the 2nd round (if they make it that far). So they might have a shot at winning a playoff series.

Wizards, pure energy! (What kind of a slogan is that?)

Posted by: brian on February 8, 2005 04:17 PM

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