they've got balls

posted by catherine / January 07, 2005 /

as tommy mentioned below, we're apparently going to be under house arrest/suspicion of treason for the days before, on, and after the presidential inauguration due to our proximity to the convention center, where many of the events will be held. hmm. time to kick out that terrorist we've been renting our laundry room to!

i got curious which events, exactly, will be held at the convention center, and found a web site with all of the balls listed for my convenience. out of something like 32 balls, six will be held at the center, all at the same time. there's got to be some law of physics that states with that many drunk cowboy-boots-wearing republicans in the same place at the same time, mixed in with red state triumphalism, bad music, and awkward dancing, anti-matter itself will spontaneously be created.

but the funniest part of all is the names of the balls. whoever's on the Inaugural Balls Naming Committee should be congratulated for their originality. we have:

The Freedom Ball
The Patriot Ball
The Liberty Ball
The Independence Ball
The Democracy Ball
The Stars and Stripes Ball
The Constitution Ball
oh, and the Texas-Wyoming Ball

what's even funnier? ohio and florida get their OWN balls, which is, of course a coincidence. meanwhile, we're still awaiting the announcement of the Iraq is Not Fucked and the Our God is an Awesome God Balls.

Comments

sweet, you said "balls" 13 times

Posted by: jon on January 10, 2005 09:19 AM

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