brad and jen are done. and so is coverage of the tsunami.

for posterity's sake in this tragic moment, i'd like to remind you of the burgeoning bud of the pitt-aniston alliance, which i witnessed in all its glory at the secret radiohead show at the 9:30 club several years ago. what starts off with dreds can never end well.

as tommy mentioned below, we're apparently going to be under house arrest/suspicion of treason for the days before, on, and after the presidential inauguration due to our proximity to the convention center, where many of the events will be held. hmm. time to kick out that terrorist we've been renting our laundry room to!

i got curious which events, exactly, will be held at the convention center, and found a web site with all of the balls listed for my convenience. out of something like 32 balls, six will be held at the center, all at the same time. there's got to be some law of physics that states with that many drunk cowboy-boots-wearing republicans in the same place at the same time, mixed in with red state triumphalism, bad music, and awkward dancing, anti-matter itself will spontaneously be created.

but the funniest part of all is the names of the balls. whoever's on the Inaugural Balls Naming Committee should be congratulated for their originality. we have:

The Freedom Ball
The Patriot Ball
The Liberty Ball
The Independence Ball
The Democracy Ball
The Stars and Stripes Ball
The Constitution Ball
oh, and the Texas-Wyoming Ball

what's even funnier? ohio and florida get their OWN balls, which is, of course a coincidence. meanwhile, we're still awaiting the announcement of the Iraq is Not Fucked and the Our God is an Awesome God Balls.

alright. i've been sick the past two days with some sort of lymph-node attacking, joint-eating viral nastiness, so apologies for not having put up a Lost recap/post earlier. not that anyone is demanding an apology. not that anyone cares if i write about it or not. in fact, i should probably be apologizing instead for forcing this on you all. but nevertheless, i'm bored, hopped up on advil and coffee, and i VONT TO WRITE.

We found this on our doorstep earlier this week (it was in all caps -- I've altered that to make it readable):

Dear Residents and Business Owners:

On Thursday, January 20, 2005, the nation will celebrate the Presidential Inauguration. The events are held in the nation's capital. This year there will be the inaugural parade on Pennsylvania Avenue during the day and then several inaugural balls during the evening hours.

This year multiple inaugural balls will be held at the D.C. Convention Center, thus your neighborhood will feel an impact from these events. Some of your nighttime activities may be restricted (parking, driving, having visitors).

We would like to report that traffic may be blocked along the 7^th and 9^th Street corridors. There may be areas (streets and parking lots) that parking may not be permitted during the event, specifically in the 1200 blocks of 7^th streets.

Residents will be required to present identification that verifies their residence in marked, secured areas. Those that do not have proper identification will not be permitted in secured areas around the convention center.

We apologize for any inconvenience that this event may cause. Due to the heightened security in the nation, extra security precautions are required in a large scale event such as the presidential inauguration.

Thank you and for further information, you may contact:

Etc. Great. Look, I understand the need for security, but let's get real for a second: the convention center is gigantic structure spanning 3 or 4 city blocks. I am quite certain that it was designed to allow for security. Now, believe me, I am intimately aware that lots of people are upset with the kind of tuxedo-and-cowboy-boot-sporting dickheads who'll be trundling their Excursions past our home come January 20th. But what do you really think people in the neighborhood could do? Car bombs? It doesn't look like the kind of structure that'd be susceptible to that, but if you're worried, why not just put some Jersey barriers up on the street and some guards at the door? If your guests are terrified of walking past some black folks on the way to their car, maybe they could just take the train to the metro station in the convention center -- wouldn't that be easier for everybody?

Seriously, am I really not allowed to have visitors? What's with all the "may" bullshit? And what's this about requiring "proper ID" -- my license still says I live in Virginia, you know. Since I haven't changed it, I guess the upshot is that I'm under house arrest for a night so that the Republicans can have a party.

Yeesh. Count me slightly-more-embittered than usual.

attn internet stalkers: i, and most likely every single blogger in the washington area, will be attending the bluestate DJ collective this saturday night at the black cat's backstage. there'll be beer, beats, and a bunch o' fucking bloggers. and what's more fun than a plethora of navel-gazing, meta-loving, alcoholic bloggers in one room who are all going to write about the event the next day? that's right: nothing. so. i'll see you there, right?