but i don't *like* finding bits of things in opaque beverages
I was all set to make fun of DCist's bubble tea post -- it was going to go something like this: "Seriously, who gives a shit?" -- but amazingly it's turned into a pretty popular thread, with lots of folks sharing their recommendations for the best place to get this horrible treat.
This seems strange to me. For one thing, is this bubble tea junk really such a new phenomenon? I remember Asian student groups setting up tables on the Lawn in Charlottesville, hawking bubble tea with a cheery fervor matched only by the creepy Falun Gong adherents who'd occasionally wander around the Rotunda. I don't think it was a fundraising drive. I think they just really, really liked the crap.
Why is completely beyond me. In every formulation I've encountered, bubble tea is simply disgusting sweet tea with the addition of some milk and choking hazards. The tapioca is flavorless and chewy, and the tea is disconcertingly orange. I can appreciate bubble tea as an impressive engineering feat -- the precisely sized straw, the hermetically sealed cups, the little robot box in that Berkeley store that quietly hummed as it laid its tapioca eggs. But you know, Frankenstein was also well-engineered. Still an abomination, though.
So okay, tastes differ, but why the strange zeal for this particular product? It's not like Asia suddenly needs to make a contribution to world cuisine -- they invented General Tso's, for God's sake -- candied fried chicken! It's perhaps the greatest culinary innovation of all time (I anxiously await chocolate french fries)! Seriously guys, take my advice: learn to rest on your laurels till you've got another winner.
Comments
You should try deep fried snickers bars.
And don't knowch the Boba-cha. It's not always orange.
article on the general that has made me hungry.
Right on, Tom. I fucking hate that shit! Like who the hell likes tapioca to begin with, and now it's not even semi-solid. Don't forget the contribution of fried wontons as well.
While I am willing to bet that General Tso likely led the greatest military campaign in human history, I am certain beyond doubt that his troops were the best fed in military history. Few individuals can claim to have made such mighty contributions to the canon as General Tso. That such a culture would go on to dishonor him so with "bubble tea" is, frankly, a smudge on the face of all humankind.
Do my eyes deceive me!? Did someone really refer to General Tso's Chicken as General Tso's Chicken as the greatest culinary invention of all time? The truth about General Tso's Chicken: some Chinese guy opened up a Chinese restaurant in the U.S. and got rich selling General Tso's chicken to a bunch of suckers that can't appreciate REAL Chinese cuisine.
Check Wiki: General Tso's Chicken
That's good to know. I bet the Chinese food in China isn't nearly as good as it is here.
I noticed that both Tom and Kriston have linked to the same DCist post -- so do you guys just sit around and pat yourself on the back all night for your shared wittisms? Quite a productive Thursday evening.
Bubble tea is so 5 years ago.
And food from China wouldn't taste anything like Chinese food you get locally (or anywhere that isn't China, really). I believe most exported Chinese cuisine all derives from Hong Kong cuisine. At least it does here in England.
China's going to be running the world in a couple decades or so. We all know it. I'm just ahead of the curve.
Holy shit! You have Trans-atlantic readership! That is crazy. I was excited to get someone from Maryland.
Marshall: actually, I spent thursday evening at a happy hour. At which Kriston and I complemented each other on our shared witticisms.
So... Yeah. Well met.
Didn't the Chinese invent chai as a cheap super-caffeinated beverage they could feed to peasants so they could work all day in the fields without let up? Now they sell it for $4 a cup at Starbucks. Oy.
Alan: I'm very willing to believe that real chinese food is better than the stuff sold two blocks down the street from behind bulletproof glass. I just think the idea of candied meat is hilarious (as well as delicious).
I believe Chai is from India.
But China probably had more peasants.
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