At the Vibe awards the good doctor got punched, the puncher got stabbed, and the stabber is on the run. Also, he's a member of G-Unit. Click here for some glamour shots of the aforementioned unit posing with automatic weapons. Classy.

That's two award-show catastrophes in two days. Has the total quantity of statuette-distribution telecasts finally reached critical mass? Could stabbing and slurring be metaphorical alpha particles streaming out from the unstable and rapidly collapsing core of American celebrity culture?

No? Are you sure?

Nuts.