You've been warned.

As reported by DCist and others, DC taxicabs may go on strike for 12 hours today to protest Mayor Williams' plans to reform the way the city cab system works. The most important of these changes: an end to the zone system. Hallelujah.

I think it's wonderful that some people are willing to devote themselves to the level of taxicab scholarship necessary to figure out this goddamn system. I'm just not one of them. When I use DC cabs it's usually after a few cocktails. I'm sure the system is a hit after last call at whatever bars cartographers hang out in. The rest of us would just like little red lights, please.

As it stands I can't even figure out the system when I'm stone-cold sober. Cab drivers know this, and I've gotten the "tourist special" more than once. And goddammit, I don't deserve to. I don't stand on the left side of the escalator. I don't trundle down Constitution at 5 mph looking for parking. I'm terrified of the very idea of snow! I meet all the qualifications, so why am I paying $12 to go ten blocks today when it cost $4 yesterday?

I realize that some folks like the system. When used with cunning it can save you some money. And when your fare is determined by the number of zones crossed, getting stuck in traffic is only psychologically draining, not financially.

But let's face it: I suspect that many of you are like me -- too dumb and/or apathetic to work this byzantine system out. And the no-cost traffic-jam advantage mostly helps daytime and rush hour cab users. Those saved costs have to be covered somewhere. That means nighttime cab users like ourselves are paying a regressive surcharge to underwrite John Q. Lobbyist's lunchtime commute from Capitol Hill to the Prime Rib.

So I say, go ahead, taxi drivers. Strike! You won't be getting my sympathy. You can do your worst, but zones must go!

Just try to wrap things up by Friday night, ok?

image courtesy of/stolen from DCPages.com

At the Vibe awards the good doctor got punched, the puncher got stabbed, and the stabber is on the run. Also, he's a member of G-Unit. Click here for some glamour shots of the aforementioned unit posing with automatic weapons. Classy.

That's two award-show catastrophes in two days. Has the total quantity of statuette-distribution telecasts finally reached critical mass? Could stabbing and slurring be metaphorical alpha particles streaming out from the unstable and rapidly collapsing core of American celebrity culture?

No? Are you sure?

Nuts.

House Republicans plan to change their rules in order to allow members indicted by state prosecutors to remain in a leadership post, a move designed to benefit Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) in case he is charged by a Texas grand jury that has indicted three of his political associates, GOP leaders said today.

The rules change, which leaders said is likely to be adopted Wednesday, comes as House Republicans return to Washington indebted to DeLay for the enhanced majority they won in this month's elections. DeLay led an aggressive redistricting effort in Texas last year that resulted in five Democratic House members retiring or losing reelection. It also triggered the grand jury inquiry into fundraising efforts related to the state legislature's redistricting actions.

...House Republicans adopted the indictment rule in 1993, when they were trying to end four decades of Democratic control of the House, in part by highlighting Democrats' ethical lapses. They said at the time that they held themselves to higher standards than prominent Democrats such as then-Ways and Means Chairman Dan Rostenkowski (Ill.), who eventually pleaded guilty to mail fraud and was sentenced to prison.