so last night after we got home from work, charles and i were watching a rerun of "west wing", having a drink, chatting, etc. we somehow got on the topic of haircuts and how we both needed one. charles for a while now has been getting his hair cut at a place called nantucket salon on H street, where i gather that his mother and sister, over time, convinced him to go. they do nice work. charles has a good haircut. his hairdresser is named ivanique. i find this hysterical.

anyway, i was wondering last night if i should give ivanique a go, and charles did say that his mother and sister rave about him. charles' father, however, while he does get his hair cut at the same salon, doesn't use ivanique. he apparently prefers a hairdresser named paul. apparently, paul also cuts dick cheney's hair.

my head whipped around at this comment by charles. first off, i've generally received the impression that nantucket is a somewhat upscale salon, so i was surprised that such a rough-and-tumble, straight-shootin' real man like cheney would get his hair cut there. secondly...dick cheney doesn't really have hair. so what's the deal there? why does he need to be spending taxpayer's money on a pricey hair cut for that tiny little weakly wisp of white?

but the most SHOCKING revelation that came from charles was this exchange:

catherine: dick cheney has a HAIRDRESSER?
charles: oh yeah. paul is apparently a flaming democrat, but he's not going to turn away good money.
catherine: that is so fucking weird.
charles: yeah. and apparently, cheney paid for paul and paul's entire family to go to the republican national convention so he could take care of his hair there.
catherine: WHAT???

this, from the campaign that has made fun of john kerry's need for expensive salon haircuts. this, from the side that nearly went into apoplectic shock when clinton reportedly received a pricey trim from christophe on air force one. this, from a vice president who has repeatedly made fun of john edwards being picked as a running mate on the basis of his luxurious hair.

so let us try to figure out how much, approximately, dick cheney might have spent in order to fly his ritzy hairdresser and HIS ENTIRE FAMILY up to the RNC for four days just so he could have instant access to a trim or style for the THREE STRANDS ON HIS HEAD. i'm not sure how much a haircut for a male at nantucket costs, but i'm not sure the exact price really matters, because i'm going to go ahead and assume that paul charged cheney for all the time and business he might have otherwise had back home at the salon in d.c. (hey, they did it when the drudge report kerry hair flap was happening.)

people estimated that john kerry's one-day cross-country haircut cost at least $1,000, including airfare and lost time for the hairstylist. here, we have a stylist who a) had to be compensated for four days of lost salon time b) had his entire family flown to new york city and c) also had his entire family lodged in new york city, just so the hairdresser could be at cheney's beck and call. you know what? i'm going to be conservative and estimate that haircutting costs, plus airfare for paul's enormous family (who knows? it could have included second cousins, uncles, etc), plus lodging for them all, plus lost time at the salon, ended up costing cheney (or the taxpayers? who knows?) at LEAST $10,000.

plus, not to mention the fact that cheney is an effete asshole who needs a hairdresser at his beck and call.

why isn't this a DNC talking point? why didn't lovely loyd grove report on it in his gossip column? why isn't chris matthews telling stories about cheney's $10,000 haircuts night after night after night?

repeat after me: dick cheney is an effete, effeminate motherfucker who pays thousands of dollars for haircuts. we need to get the word out.