I just called Carter Mountain Orchard, and for once they picked up their phone. Weird. It took me a second to remember what I was calling about.

Oh yeah! Their apple-picking festival thingy. Back in Charlottesville we somehow stumbled across Carter Mountain's yearly harvest festival and had such a good time that we've done our best to make it back each year. Unfortunately our best hasn't been nearly good enough, and Catherine and I have only made it down for post-festival, post-hurricane apple picking. Which, it turns out, isn't nearly as great (although still fun).

Well, this year's gonna be different. The festival's happening the first two weekends in October (2nd & 3rd; 9th & 10th). If you like hayrides, cider and authentic old coots playing bluegrass as much as I do, you ought to join us. Catherine's particularly keen on the apple cider donuts, which she swears contain actual apple content of some sort. I'm not so sure, but I know better than to get between her and a translucently oily paper bag of fried batter. There are also pumpkins, a beautiful mountaintop view of Charlottesville, lots of little kids constantly falling down (another Catherine favorite), and the opportunity to purchase various strange acoutrements to your new apple-centric lifestyle. What the hell is apple butter used for, anyway?

It'll be so goddamn wholesome you'll feel like voting straight ticket Republican for at least a couple days.