I am working in an office today, so I'm afraid I'll have to demur when it comes to snarkily clever internet insights for the time being. Fluorescent lighting and hotplated coffee slowly drain the life from me, like Superman and Kryptonite, or the Green Lantern and the color... yellow? purple? See, it's happening already. I can't remember the Green Lantern's weakness. Instead all I can think about is drafting Best Practices documents and something called Flex Time.

It's my coworker's fault I'm here. He's incompetent, apparently (I thought I was just being arrogant). The client complained, and now I have to show up here for three weeks or so. It's my blinding hatred of this coworker that's keeping me alert at all, but even that is slipping away, like an icecube melting in my hands. An icecube of anger. An angercube.

Before I fade away and completely surrender my will to the corporate hivemind, allow me a few observations:

• This "desk" couldn't even pass for Ikea children's furniture


• The Tower Records in the Lobby doesn't sell music, only DVDs. This probably means something, but mostly it just annoys me.


• It's nice of people to leave their leftover lunch in the breakroom as a snack for others, but not if it smells strongly of fish.


• Window-washers are some badass dudes.