i'm moving in with two boys in two weeks, so facts other than the loss of space for my shoes (i'm sorry, poor lover shoes) must be faced: i have to learn how to play video games.

i used to be quite the video game afficionado about, oh, 12 years ago. i was all over anything mario-related, and became quite good at sonic the hedgehog as well. also, i rocked that duck hunting game and the motorbike one. but then i hit puberty, figured out that video games were for loser boys, started to use my hand-eye coordination for tennis instead, and generally lost all sorts of video gaming skills i might have ever possessed. this was proved time after time when i tried to bond with the cute boys living upstairs from my apartment in college by playing mario kart with them, only to embarrass myself by losing constantly. i don't want to even think about the number of times i drove the poor princess off the track into some hellish abyss. i figured if i ever wanted to find someone to love me, they'd have to put up with the fact that i hate video games (mostly because i'm bad at them, and i hate doing anything that i am not good at/will not assuredly win).

thankfully, tommy came along, who will even put up with me screeching drunkenly about how much i hate mario party and how terribly unfair of a game it is whenever we play it. now, in an effort to be an affable roommate to him and charles, i've decided, grudgingly, that i will learn the rudiments of playing video games. i hope to even one day enjoy this venture. i have to admit to being a little apprehensive -- back when i enjoyed nintendo, the controllers only had the little up-down-right-left thing and an A and B button. now, i look at the controllers that involve about 32 different buttons and can like, levitate in midair and stuff, and i'm sure i'll never learn how to work them. but i keep telling myself: patience, grasshopper. the day will come.

anyway, i wanted to mine the vast video game knowledge of zunta's readers, and take suggestions for games that will be most suited to a neophyte. please try to avoid football, basketball, or games where you win by exploding everyone's head with some sort of ninja staff and spray blood all over the screen. i thank you in advance for your wisdom. wish me luck in my endeavors.

I am working in an office today, so I'm afraid I'll have to demur when it comes to snarkily clever internet insights for the time being. Fluorescent lighting and hotplated coffee slowly drain the life from me, like Superman and Kryptonite, or the Green Lantern and the color... yellow? purple? See, it's happening already. I can't remember the Green Lantern's weakness. Instead all I can think about is drafting Best Practices documents and something called Flex Time.

It's my coworker's fault I'm here. He's incompetent, apparently (I thought I was just being arrogant). The client complained, and now I have to show up here for three weeks or so. It's my blinding hatred of this coworker that's keeping me alert at all, but even that is slipping away, like an icecube melting in my hands. An icecube of anger. An angercube.

Before I fade away and completely surrender my will to the corporate hivemind, allow me a few observations:

• This "desk" couldn't even pass for Ikea children's furniture


• The Tower Records in the Lobby doesn't sell music, only DVDs. This probably means something, but mostly it just annoys me.


• It's nice of people to leave their leftover lunch in the breakroom as a snack for others, but not if it smells strongly of fish.


• Window-washers are some badass dudes.

well, i gathered my courage and totalled all the donations to my marathon fundraiser so far...and i've got $1250! which i think is amazing and wonderful and i can't express enough gratitude to everyone who's donated or helped me to raise money, from spreading the word on their blogs, to selling precious vinyl records (thanks dad), to suggesting unique ways to get some cash.

i know i sound like a broken record, but if you read this blog and you haven't donated and you are in a position to do so, please drop $10 (or more!) at the paypal button on the right. i've still got $750 to go by october 22. you can read the reasons why i'm fundraising for the lombardi cancer center here.