i'm thinking tommy wrote this to me under a pseudonym or something; just replace wife with girlfriend, and the celebrity-crack-whore he's talking about is basically me:

Fate has been very kind, introducing you to me. I’m luckier than anyone I know. But why Fate would have introduced you to Us Magazine, I’m not sure. I think Fate wants to mess with me. Maybe hurt me a little. Maybe Fate thinks I’m a little too lucky. Kind of like poor Christopher Reeve or M.C. Hammer. They had it all, then Fate sucker-punched them. I understand them now. When I see you reading Us Magazine, it’s like a tiny dagger in my soul. Sometimes a bigger dagger, depending on who’s on the cover.

So, please, stop reading Us Magazine.

so...can i still read people?

via hackmuth