And so, the end of comic book movies. There couldn't be a worse miscasting of Sue Storm if the producers tried.

Yeah, but the Fantastic Four were pretty unbelievably lame anyway. Every single comic book I read went this way:

Reed Richards: "hey gang! let's use my latest invention to enter a parallel universe. just because"

Gang: "Okay!"

(Enter Negaverse, or Infinidome, or some stupid shit)

Sue: "Reed, you did remember to close the door behind us, right?"

Reed: "Er..."

Then they return to find some long-exiled intergalactic warlord has escaped from his interdimensional prison and started wrecking shit. A battle ensues during which the Human Torch gets doused with water, but fortunately things still manage to get wrapped up by the end of the book.

Bah!

Much as it pains me to say it though, Jessica Simpson might not be bad in an X-Men movie. Dazzler was barely in the comics, and her character didn't really match Simpson's personality (and I can't imagine she can act). But they can just rewrite the character completely and it'll be fine.

I'd rather have seen her as a rewritten Boom Boom, though.

Heh.

But you're all wrong about the Fantastic Four. What about the lovable Thing? It's clobberin' time, Tommy!

C'mon—I don't think you can deny Galactus.

Not to get away from the important issues, but it just occurred to me: Sarah Michelle Gellar would have been ten times the Mary Jane Watson as Kirsten Dunst.

no way, kriston. first off, i know a lot of people don't agree with me, but i thought dunst was great. second off, SMG is way too much of a ball-breaker to have the vulnerability and sweetness of MJ. plus i doubt she and maguire would have had any chemistry. i thought dunst and maguire had it in spades.

I hear SMG saying, "Go get 'em, Tiger." And I hear Dunst saying, "Go get 'em, Tiger." I'm sorry—hands down, SMG would have this tiger going and getting quicker any day of the week.

i do love my buffy, but i feel like that's the only kind of role SMG is really perfect for. she would have sucked and been way too over-the-top as MJ.

yeah, well, i'll fight you.

bring it on! you think SMG is a ball-breaker...well, you've heard the tales.

I'm sorry...SMG doesn't cut it as a red-head

the problem with casting SMG as MJ is that she would have come off as stronger, more capable, and more masculine than maguire as spiderman.

ha ha. i'm ready for spider-woman. really, i'm just waiting for a movie called "SMG".

honestly, I could be MJ. :)

Fan-people! Please! Civility!

Bah, Jessica Simpson doesn't deserve to be associated with the X-Men franchise. I can only see her acting like a Power Ranger for some reason.

I am, however, objectively pro-Jessica Alba in any regard, and don't really give a shit about the Fantastic Four, so thumbs up.

hey, kevin's saying the jessica simpson thing is a rumor completely unfounded in any kind of fact. for what it's worth. i can't believe we're still talking about it. or i am, rather.

norbizness just said something about breaking news of jack black playing a zany green lantern. i don't even know who the green lantern is. but there you go. supposedly over somewhere at aintitcoolnews.

ah yes. here: http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=17971

I also have been told I could play hero:
an awesome action hero

Kriston, I thought I had replied, but it appears that window got lost before I ever submitted it. I apologize for my lapse on this important issue.

So, okay, The Thing is a good character. But the other three fantastic four members were dead weight. Galactus was cool, but the hierarchy of who has the most infinite cosmic powers -- SS, Galactus, the Watchers, The In Betweener(?!) -- was dumb and irritating. For my world-consuming planetoid fix, I'll go with Unicron from the Transformers movie every time. If earth had to be devoured by a relentless monstrosity from beyond the edges of time, I would at least want it to be voiced by Orson Welles.