shorter peggy noonan (can actually be applied to any noonan column you choose): "i'm constantly on drugs!"

this column contains some classic noonerisms:

...The Edwardses' towheaded children looked like John-John and Caroline when they lived in the White House. It was all very glamorous in a way that Democrats like (Hyde Park, Hyannis, Clinton in Hollywood--we like big houses and boats, we have a secret weakness for wealth!) and Republicans don't (We're clearing brush here, get out of the way! We sleep in two twin beds held together at the posts by old rubber bands!)

...By the way, Republicans tend not to point at the crowd in this way. They wave. I think it's because their mothers taught them pointing is rude. Someday, in 2008 or 2012, there will, however, be a Republican pointer. And we will know history has truly changed. Because that man's mother will not have taught him that pointing is rude, for she was working 18 hours a day in a law firm, and forgot.

...By the way, I continue to be impressed by how Mr. Kerry plays Vietnam. He served four months in Vietnam, and everyone thinks it was years. It's like a guy showing up on the History Channel talking about the Pacific war, and breaking into tears as he remembers the bombardment. Gray head, sagging face, old aviator glasses. And then the interviewer says "Tell us how long you were there?" And the old guy chirps, "Oh, four months! Scratched my arm, got my ticket punched, and got out of Dodge!" If Mr. Kerry had not led with his weakness--if he had not boldly gone forth from day one presenting his candidacy as one of a Vietnam hero--the whole subject would at this point in the campaign be not a theme but an embarrassment. (ah, yes, the whole 'served combat time and won a bunch of awards' weakness that we're all familiar with, especially peggy, who actually served several tours in 'nam.)

who needs coffee to start off your morning when you have peggy?