frat boys: the new political pundits
FINALLY! an article that gets what *i* really want in my president -- a healthy ability to binge drink yourself into a stupor:
Many Americans have already chosen their candidate: the man who can be trusted to serve as commander in chief of the mightiest military; the man who can function under the fantastic pressure and scrutiny that will be applied to him; the man who can get the job done.But is this man trustworthy enough to hold your legs during a keg stand?
"I think I would rather have Kerry hold my feet during a keg stand because, let's face it, you need... someone responsible to do something like that," Penn junior Patrick Carroll said.
"You wouldn't want to fall and chip your teeth on the keg or something, and I could just picture 'college-era' Bush seeing a hot girl across the room and dropping everything he was doing to go talk to her," the Kappa Alpha brother said.
...
Others fraternity brothers at the University of Pennsylvania felt experience and physical hardiness trump character when it comes to the man keeping his head from suddenly meeting keg or floor.
"I'd trust that Bush has a lot more experience around kegs than Kerry," Pi Kappa Alpha brother Alex Brodsky said.
"Bush is a bit tougher," he continued. "I'm a big boy, 200-plus pounds, and I'd imagine that Kerry might have a hard time lifting me up."
and then the quote that speaks most to my heart:
...Brodsky himself, despite a demonstrated commitment to the Republican Party through his work for a Republican state senator in Pittsburgh, does not intend to vote for Bush -- even though Bush is the only candidate to whom he'd offer a bid to join Pi Kappa Alpha."Nader wouldn't have a chance," Brodsky explained. "Kerry is cool because he has morals, something G.W. and Nader do not, but George Bush is the only one that I can see playing Beirut [aka Beer Pong] while shot-gunning a Natty Ice. So I guess I'd have to pick Bush."
damn straight; i can totally see bush being a great beer pong partner. maybe i should reconsider my vote. [via pandagon]
and once and for all, can somebody explain to me why seemingly everybody north of maryland calls beer pong "beirut"? i'm sure jeff or another person has explained it to me, but it was probably not while i was sober. if no one can offer up a good reason, i suggest a bill to get rid of the retarded misnomer.
Comments
i forgot to mention: i just love cnn. so hard-hitting.
Why does that dude think Bush is tougher? He's totally buying the cowboy hype! Kerry is way taller and, let's not forget, was in the shit in 'Nam. As a tall person myself, I cannot underestimate the necessity of a tall person to hold your legs up on a keg stand. Maybe all these frat boys are short and not thinking about that.
Hopefully, none of these assholes will even vote.
but the only political candidate who got an invite to Beer Day was this guy
Sorry for the late comment, but i just spent the last weekend with many New England Native Cousins. The name Beirut was explained. Apparently Beer Pong was invented during the bombing of Beirut (i do not know any other political details and have obviously not researched the validity of this statement). The original name of the game was "Bombs over Beirut" or something like that, and quickly shortened to Beirut. Thus, in recent times many Beer Pong players (most likely in the northeast) have taken to calling the game "Bombs over Iraq". I hope that this is sufficient explanation. I for one will continue to call the game Beer Pong since my mental state while playing is generally to low (high depending on your perspective) to consider the political implications of the name Beirut.
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