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posted by catherine / June 21, 2004 /
8 comments /
anybody checking the blog out lately will notice that it's kind of gone downhill, at least from my side. i'm either posting barely-formed rants that essentially equal "fuck george bush" or linking half-heartedly to other random sites.
in my defense, though, i've got a lot of stuff going on. and i'm tired all the time. obviously i'm phsyically tired from marathon training and running 30+ miles a week; and i'm starting to get stressed out about the whole raising $2,000 thing. turns out fundraising is kind of this huge all-consuming second job that involves planning large events, soliciting vendors, sending out mass mailings and leaving all your pride at the door. of course, i brought this on myself and need to stop bitching about it, but it's still something to deal with.
then i've got a few random other things going on. i'm thinking a lot lately, as most people my age are, about what the hell i'm going to do in the future. this summer is probably going to contain a lot of rather important decisions. do i want to go to grad school? if so, what exactly do i want to study? and where do i want to go? can i actually get in anywhere? who the hell would write me recommendations? and, dear god, please help me not fail the math part of the GREs, okay? additionally, if i do decide to go to grad school, that means i have to reconcile myself with probably staying at this job another year, which isn't a prospect i'm exactly thrilled with and is mentally tiring all in itself.
but if i choose not to go to grad school, that means i have to rachet up the job search, which is something that i only succeeded at last year because i was unemployed upon returning from italy and could spend 24/7 sending out resumes, going to interviews and harassing prospective employers. how in the world can i find a new job now when the only computer i have access to is the one at my current position? i can't exactly spend all of my 9-5 time cleaning up writing samples and browsing monster.com.
add to the mix that tommy, charles and i have to start a search for a new house in the d.c. or clarendon area and find a place that we like by september 1st, and, well, i'm on the verge of needing a few stiff drinks.
then there's all the political turmoil in the real world, and the ranting and raving about it from both sides in the blogosphere, and i somehow get tired just from the act of reading the blogs i normally enjoy. i just feel all this hatred and anger like, springing out from the computer monitor and latching itself onto my face from all over the place and it is just exhausting. i would try to implement a world-wide policy of puppies and alcohol but, you know, i don't think it would take.
naturally, none of this is really that big a deal compared to, well, anything. i have the basics: health, great friends and a wonderful family, love, a salary that allows me very occasionally to buy pretty shoes. so yes, i am a weiner-head to complain, but it still doesn't fix the fact that i barely have enough brain cells left to write coherent blog posts and/or do anything besides slump in front of the tv at the end of the day and watch "extreme home makeover." so i suppose i'll write when i can think of something intelligent to say. i know, that hasn't ever been a prerequisite for me when posting to the blog, but i'm trying it out for now.
meanwhile, i highly suggest you check out these albums i squandered money on over the weekend: carl newman's "slow wonder" (solo album from lead singer of the new pornographers), "hearts of oak" by ted leo and the pharmacists (yes, i'm slow to the game on this one, but i LOVE this album, and they're playing the black cat in july and fort reno at some point and we must go), and "bastards of the beat" by the damnwells (who are playing iota july 8 and we also must go). enjoy!