I'm a little mystified by Kerry and the Senate Democrats' recent attacks on the administration for high gas prices. Sure, $2/gallon is high by US standards, but I think attacking the president on gas prices right now is both wrong and a bad idea politically. Hear me out, then tell me why I'm wrong.

Yes, I am fully aware that rants about corporate doublespeak written in the imperative are not original. But I can't help it. I'm stuck in training today through Thursday -- "Designing and Implementing Integrated Portal Solutions Bootcamp". So some notes for you, Mr. Instructor Guy:

• "Task" is a noun, not a verb. You're thinking of "assigning" things -- that's what you do with tasks, dummy. Or you can "make someone responsible for" a task. I know, we're all incredibly important people and don't have time for polysyllabic... sorry, long words. Perhaps you could turn these phrases into some more of your goddamned acronyms.
• Instead of "best practices," let's call it as "doing your job right." Then let's all assume everyone should do their job right. Then we can stop talking about it.
• Buddy. Dude. Lay off using "whilst" so much. I'm sorry, but nobody is going to mistake you for Lord Byron. Didn't you notice how weird it sounded when that girl from the Drama department kept using it all the time in high school English class? It doesn't sound any better when you're talking about extensible IT solutions than it did in poems about various types of sorrow.
• Finally, this isn't specific to IT instructors, just you. Please stop saying "pain in the rump." We're all grown men. Some cursing might make this more bearable for all of us.
  

Really, I should be able to come up with more items than this. The shortness of this list strongly indicates that I need to get out of this line of work. I've gotten to the point where I almost believe that "Integrated Business Solution" means something.

i finally signed up today for the susan g. komen national race for the cure. it's a 5k run/walk to raise funds for breast cancer research and awareness. i've never done it before because, well, i could barely run a block without keeling over, but now that i'm slightly more competent than that, i figured i could handle a 5k.

my mother is a breast cancer survivor; she had the disease when i was in high school. though she was misdiagnosed for over six months, she survived the cancer, which was highly advanced, in large part because she got into a trial group that probably saved her life. she's been in remission for about seven years now and has spent a good chunk of her time helping and advising women in her town who have been diagnosed.

i hate the whole begging-for-funds things on blogs, but i have a donation web page for the race nevertheless. i don't really expect to raise that much money (i only put $50 as my goal), but anything would be welcome. i know it's important to me and the many friends and people i know who have been affected in some way or another by breast cancer. and if you want to run the race with me, just let me know. it's only like, three miles, people. you can do it!

update: naomi is running the race with me, and the fantastic tom dixon just donated $25 (which gets me $10 away from my goal of $50, since i'd already put in $15). and now tommy gave a really, really generous $50, so i'm up to $90, way past my goal. thank you all! anyway want to throw in $10 to make it an even $100?