let's do a wacky italian story of the day, shall we? i haven't done one of those in, say, about 72 hours. definitely overdue.

today i shall focus on the macabre obsession of italians who just adore exhuming centuries old bodies of ancient famous people in order to discover some obscure fact or prove some ridiculous point. it's like some crazy italian soap opera, but dealing solely with dead, rotted bodies. fun times, fun times.

for example: today it was decided that 49 members of the medici family will be exhumed to solve a '300 year-old murder' case.

Using latest technology, researchers will try to find out about the Medici lifestyle including what they ate and how they died, when the family vault is opened this month.

Above all they will try to solve the mystery of Francesco Medici and his wife, who died within a day of each other in 1587 of what appeared to be malaria but was probably poisoning.

because that is so, so important. man. celebrity obsession isn't only about the famous people who happen to be, you know, alive.

additionally, the poet petrarch, who was exhumed in november 2003, may not have been buried with his...head.

Scientists, who dug him up in November 2003 in hopes of learning more about one of the most prolific bards of the Italian Renaissance, discovered after DNA testing that the skull found in his tomb most likely belongs to a woman.

The skull switcheroo is sending shock waves through the Italian scientific community where dramatic celebrity exhumations have become frequent. Over the last decade or so, figures like painter Giotto and Dante's 'Cannibal Count' Ugolino della Gherardesca have made headlines and become the object of exhibits, books and documentaries following DNA testing.

Petrarch's exhumation was timed in order that he might 'star' in celebrations for the 700th anniversary of his birth in November 2004. Scientists wanted to reconstruct his face and determine his age, diet and general health. There was no immediate comment from officials about how the fete might carry on if the poet's body remains headless.

"I hope that whoever may have the skull will give it back," said scientist Vito Terribile Wiel Marin. "We're 100% percent sure it's not his, but we can't date the skull with certainty yet." Getting back Petrarch's head may not be a simple matter -- the tomb, in Arqua Petrarca near Padova had been opened once in the 1600s and in more recent times, when someone made off with an arm and fractured the skull.

Romantics are already speculating that the woman buried with Petrarch might be his mystery love Laura, to whom he dedicated the lines, "I feed on sadness, laughing weep: death and life displease me equally: and I am in this state, lady, because of you."

that is so romantic, i think i am going to throw up.

So, as Catherine mentioned, we went to see Hellboy this weekend. Obviously a movie like this -- one which features lots of superbeings battling evil -- is going to be too nuanced for the average moviegoer to take in all at once. Fortunately for you, I have played enough role playing games to make me unusually qualified to guide you through the movie's subtleties.

sooo...as far as i can tell, this is the bush spin on things:

yes, there was a memo we received in august that said bin laden was determined to strike in the u.s. at some point, and the memo did say something about airplane hijackings, and maybe something about a building in manhattan. all true.

BUT! the memo DID NOT say A. exactly when these attacks would take place; B. that they would not simply hijack airplanes, but use them as weapons; and C. which exact building in manhattan was at risk.

therefore, we are not to blame.

I AM A BOILING POT OF RAGE.

where is my puppy and bottle of rum?

this juxtaposition of this weekend's top two movies is just funny:

1. The Passion of the Christ, $17 million
2. Hellboy, $11.1 million

i think it's time for mel gibson and ron perlman to have a showdown. i'm pretty sure i know who would win.

by the way, i was part of that 11.1 million intake for hellboy this weekend. i hadn't read the comic books, but tommy had convinced me that it looked awesome, so he and and kriston and i went to check it out. i thought it was pretty good, though the ending felt rushed and disjointed. but ron perlman and selma blair were excellent. i'm sure tommy has more insightful things to say about the movie if he so wishes, so i'll stop pretending i know anything about movie comic book adaptations.