not bad for a general - clark seems to be off to a good start in the south, secondo me: http://www.tnr.com/primary/index.mhtml?pid=1133

so. sup. this friday will probably go down as one of the most pointless days in catherine's history of employment. i copied a document, and that was the only thing i've done all day that i can claim as contributing to the company. go copy machine! i went to a nice lunch with a few coworkers at the childe harold on p street, which was fun, and where i contemplated my imminent oldness. 24! on sunday! the fact that i am turning 24, really fairly well into adulthood, confirms something i've been thinking for a while now: that even though society may consider you a grown-up, you're basically destined to go through life feeling like you're always 18. maybe 16. and you just go about guessing at how to do the adult thing correctly. and i don't think i'm wrong in saying it's not just me who feels like that. some people just hide it better than others.

anyway...i'm determined not to be completely terrified about getting older, and while it may seem ridiculous to others that i'm saying this at the age of 24, i really feel like there's so much pressure on people my age to do various things. like, this is what goes through my head: i probably can't go to grad school until 2005, and probably won't graduate from that until 2007 (which, btw, sounds completely futuristic for some reason. you know, cos 2004 doesn't), when i'll be 27, and then i have to find a job, and it would also be really cool to live abroad again for a year. especially italy, but i would like to get married around 30, and there's no way in hell that i'm marrying an italian, so i'd either have to become a spinster abroad or probably never get to go to italy ever again, and then what the hell about children, i don't want to be 80 at my kid's graduation, but then again i really want to have an awesome career, so who's to say that i'll even have kids, but my mom will kill me if she's not a grandma by 60, and society will look at me like some child-hater...and so on.

i probably just revealed myself to be a psychopath of major proportions. but i like to think i'm not alone in my neurosis. especially since i've been a decently high-achiever all my life; how can i dare stray from a successful path now? but in all honesty, i would love to save up a couple of thousand dollars and go back to italy for a while without any set plan, except lots of writing and photographing. jess, are you reading this? you, me, italy: we'll drink wine and espresso and hatch plans for the lifestyle magazine that is going to take over the world!

but i'm a capricorn. and we are very practical, don't you know, so the whole bum-around-italy thing might not be likely. oh, capricorn. such a boring sign. witness, from our friends at psychic connections:

The symbol for Capricorn is the goat, standing alone on top of a mountain crag, which is reached by a difficult uphill climb.

You are the achievers of the zodiac.

BORING. anyway i don't really think i'm an UBER-achiever like this makes it sound. i mean, i'm not going to own my own company or show up on 'the apprentice' or anything. but the whole dry humor and pessimism/cynicism was pretty true. yes. i'm dead inside. except for when i let my hair down.

so for the big 2-4 this weekend, i have some minor plans in place. going out with friends on saturday night to participate in what debauchery i know not, and then dinner with family and tommy at lebanese taverna sunday night. mmm. i haven't been there in almost two years? tommy and i are trying to get a table at obelisk, this apparently very good italian restaurant in the city, but they are too good for the likes of us! stronzi. which means shitheads. if you feel like cussing in italian. stronzi is the plural; if there's some singular shithead, just say stronzo. strawn-zso. and giggle in your cultural superiority.